John

John is the sixteenth episode of the third season of Moriah Blake, and the sixty-sixth episode overall.

Plot
In the Cold Open, Sally and Jessica laugh about comparing people in their lives to characters in How I Met Your Mother. The mood quickly changes when Sally reminds Jessica that the latter, unlike the characters in HIMYM, recently came out as a lesbian. Jessica flips off the camera in annoyance.

Charlie comes to Audrey's house just before Justin shows up, insisting that the latter had invited him. Audrey tells him he has to leave, but he does not. Justin shows up, and he and Audrey begin working on Number 69 on her 500 Things list: have a makeout session lasting longer than five minutes. Charlie tries to annoy them by sitting there and reading the list aloud, but they ignore him. He retreats to Audrey's basement, where he sits alone, playing disparate chords on an acoustic guitar.

Patricia and Linda Donovan are visiting Andrew, Ashley, and Patrick. Andrew and Linda retreat into the kitchen to have a private discovery, which arouses the suspicion of their children. Patricia tries to spy on them through the window, while Patrick perches in the stairwell. It is revealed that Ashley is on the second story with Austin when the latter walks by Patrick, then picks up the Infinity Glove, asking if he knows whose it is. Later, Patrick goes into the kitchen under the pretense of getting a drink of water and hides his iPod Touch, using it to record his parents' dialogue. Ashley and Austin get into a heated argument. When her aunt and uncle hear this, they decide to cut their discussion short and take everyone out to dinner, so as to avoid Ashley having a relationship ending in disaster, as theirs had.

Sally and Jessica go to the Capital Mall to find Jessica a girlfriend. At first, they run into Principal Johns and Anna Marx, whom we have seen in the previous episode, but have not yet identified. Due to their bad breakup, Jessica walks away without saying a word to Anna. We see that Devin and Winter are also in the mall. Sally and Jessica decide to go to Applebee's, where Sally meets Amber and begins hitting on her for Jessica's sake. Amber gives her some advice and the teenagers leave. They meet Devin and Winter, and the four of them hang out together. Sally remembers from middle school that Winter likes girls, and suggests that Jessica go after her.

In the Tag, Sally gives us her dating advice. We see the other plots unfold: Devin, Jessica, Sally, and Winter enjoying themselves at the mall; Charlie crossing off #69 on Audrey's list as she and Justin make out; the Donovans and Austin—now joined by Robin at a nice restaurant together. Sally then reveals that she has broken up several couples, including Patrick and Hope. She says that, as soon as Patrick and Robin become official, she will break them up as well.

Characters
Unlike most Season Three episodes, John does not feature Scott McCrimmon or Emily Greene in any context. It acts partially as character development for Patricia, who would later become a major player in the series.

Title
John is the sixteenth episode of the third season. Its code is 03x16. Its title comes from a famous quote in Scripture, which is found in the Book of John, chapter three, verse sixteen.

List items
Charlie reads off several list items while trying to get Justin and Audrey to pay attention to him. At the end of the episode, he sullenly crosses off Number 69.

•Number 7: learn to grill burgers

•Number 24: go to a flea market

•Number 73: do a photo shoot on the roof

•Number 420: smoke an ounce of marjuna [sic]

•Number 69: have a makeout session lasting longer than five minutes